Tuesday, September 23, 2008
That Kind of Day
1. I spilled yogurt all down my boob and pants, mostly because I was eating it with a knife (and typing at the same time).
2. I had a brazilian booked today. I coincidentally have the largest in-grown hair disaster known to mankind, located square in the centre of my lower abdomen. It looks like a boil, impersonating a blood blister, it's roughly the same size and shape of the Hindenburg (but thankfully it is not filled with hapless Germans). If it were possible to step on it the experience might resemble someone stamping on a chocolate eclair on the sidewalk, followed by blood, a sort of chocolate blood eclair stampfest, if you will. It is really awful and nasty but on the bright side, it doesn't hurt at all. Claudia (note: I'm seeing a new brazilian giver) couldn't have cared less when she saw it. She actually managed to pull out the hair using her giant magnifying glass (the kind ringed with a lightbulb that is probably causing an energy crisis). She then sold me a bottle of something called Tend Skin. Oh the humanity!
3. I am running my hockey team! Yea me! But I still have two spots to fill...
4. I have more weird work hours than ever. I have an upcoming implementation in which the maintenance window is 2am - 5am. Yawn!
5. I am applying to be a Justice fo the Peave. Ya, you read that right.
6. I'm going to a gay wedding in June. Mine!
1. I spilled yogurt all down my boob and pants, mostly because I was eating it with a knife (and typing at the same time).
2. I had a brazilian booked today. I coincidentally have the largest in-grown hair disaster known to mankind, located square in the centre of my lower abdomen. It looks like a boil, impersonating a blood blister, it's roughly the same size and shape of the Hindenburg (but thankfully it is not filled with hapless Germans). If it were possible to step on it the experience might resemble someone stamping on a chocolate eclair on the sidewalk, followed by blood, a sort of chocolate blood eclair stampfest, if you will. It is really awful and nasty but on the bright side, it doesn't hurt at all. Claudia (note: I'm seeing a new brazilian giver) couldn't have cared less when she saw it. She actually managed to pull out the hair using her giant magnifying glass (the kind ringed with a lightbulb that is probably causing an energy crisis). She then sold me a bottle of something called Tend Skin. Oh the humanity!
3. I am running my hockey team! Yea me! But I still have two spots to fill...
4. I have more weird work hours than ever. I have an upcoming implementation in which the maintenance window is 2am - 5am. Yawn!
5. I am applying to be a Justice fo the Peave. Ya, you read that right.
6. I'm going to a gay wedding in June. Mine!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Life's Passing Me By
TV: Oprah is in a fat apogee and skyping people; other that that I don't know what's going on. Who won the Olympics?
This blog: the font is terrible. I need to change it globally. Also, I need to start writing real things.
Hockey: Back in July my pink team which told me that they wanted a more committed goalie who would only play for them. They know that I have at least one other team that I play for, so this "rule" negated my playing for them. As it happens they didn't get their deposit into the league in time, so they're playing in some other league I've never heard of, and I think they're still without a goalie. No schadenfreude here but it's just plain strange how life works out sometimes. And as an aside, I don't know any female goalies who only ever play for one team.
He Didn't Understand Me the First or Second Time: I told Peter at Thanksgiving and Christmas about my relationship with Sarah. Yesterday when I told him we were engaged he was shocked and a little confused. He insists that he didn't know we were a couple. It will likely take a year or more for him to allow this relationship into his consciousness in that he at least remembers who she is. Ah well, I just strive to make sure he gets to the dentist on time.
A Canadian Election: Fuck. Again?
TV: Oprah is in a fat apogee and skyping people; other that that I don't know what's going on. Who won the Olympics?
This blog: the font is terrible. I need to change it globally. Also, I need to start writing real things.
Hockey: Back in July my pink team which told me that they wanted a more committed goalie who would only play for them. They know that I have at least one other team that I play for, so this "rule" negated my playing for them. As it happens they didn't get their deposit into the league in time, so they're playing in some other league I've never heard of, and I think they're still without a goalie. No schadenfreude here but it's just plain strange how life works out sometimes. And as an aside, I don't know any female goalies who only ever play for one team.
He Didn't Understand Me the First or Second Time: I told Peter at Thanksgiving and Christmas about my relationship with Sarah. Yesterday when I told him we were engaged he was shocked and a little confused. He insists that he didn't know we were a couple. It will likely take a year or more for him to allow this relationship into his consciousness in that he at least remembers who she is. Ah well, I just strive to make sure he gets to the dentist on time.
A Canadian Election: Fuck. Again?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
You Thought That Was It? You Are Dumb!
And now that the dust has settled...
I just spent 3 weeks camping and motel’ing across America. I love America. I love it because I don't live there and I always get to be a visitor, so covert that I can easily pass as a native. I get to marvel at the prices of things, the variety, the amazing differences of everything on the shelves in the drug store and the grocery store. I can wander and ponder in places like Ben's Fine Wine and Spirits (the wine really is fine). I love the breakfast menus, the truck stops, the coffee, the 24 hours pace of things. I love the high altitude desert.
I love the “radical self expression”, the amazing art installations and the extreme camping. I prefer camping in the desert to anywhere else. There’s no dampness, no dew, no rain, no morning chill, no wet shoes to contend with. Nothing gets wet. You can shove your bed up against the side of the tent, it doesn’t matter.
I am still recovering a little bit from all the travel. I am still cleaning some of the camping equipment, which got absolutely fucking trashed from the extreme heat and the dust storms. It was like camping on Tatooine, except no moisture farms, no Tusken raiders… just lots of crazy Americans. Just the way I like them! I met a guy called Captain Boo-Yeah who looked like a porn star and acted like my best friend and big brother just for one day.
Just for one day you can know and love someone, and you'll remember them forever even though you both drift on to the next party and you'll never meet up again, and that's perfectly ok.
And now that the dust has settled...
I just spent 3 weeks camping and motel’ing across America. I love America. I love it because I don't live there and I always get to be a visitor, so covert that I can easily pass as a native. I get to marvel at the prices of things, the variety, the amazing differences of everything on the shelves in the drug store and the grocery store. I can wander and ponder in places like Ben's Fine Wine and Spirits (the wine really is fine). I love the breakfast menus, the truck stops, the coffee, the 24 hours pace of things. I love the high altitude desert.
I love the “radical self expression”, the amazing art installations and the extreme camping. I prefer camping in the desert to anywhere else. There’s no dampness, no dew, no rain, no morning chill, no wet shoes to contend with. Nothing gets wet. You can shove your bed up against the side of the tent, it doesn’t matter.
I am still recovering a little bit from all the travel. I am still cleaning some of the camping equipment, which got absolutely fucking trashed from the extreme heat and the dust storms. It was like camping on Tatooine, except no moisture farms, no Tusken raiders… just lots of crazy Americans. Just the way I like them! I met a guy called Captain Boo-Yeah who looked like a porn star and acted like my best friend and big brother just for one day.
Just for one day you can know and love someone, and you'll remember them forever even though you both drift on to the next party and you'll never meet up again, and that's perfectly ok.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
A-Holes Who Write in Point Form
It went something like this:
- Leave house at 3:30am
- Stop for gas and Tim Horton’s
- Immediately notice that roof bag tarp cover is loose; pull over to fix it; see that it is completely destroyed; abandon it near the CNE
- Finally leave city 4:30am
- About 45 minutes out of the city notice that roof straps are thwacking the car roof hard; pull over to refasten in Guelph; get more Tim Horton’s
- Arrive at Sarnia at 7am to cross border into Port Huron, Michigan
- We direct ourselves into the NEXUS lane (limited signage, seems to be the only lane open)
- Border guard gets annoyed with us when we don’t have NEXUS passes
- We earn ourselves a $5000 fine and automatic car search and “interview” with Homeland Security
- In the interview a nice man talks to us like we’re 11 years old; waives the fine; sends us on our way 20 minutes later
- We see that the car doesn’t even seem to be searched; WAY TO GO, AMERICA!
- Continue to drive through Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa
- Stop for the night in Stuart, Iowa Super 8 motel (there are lots of friendly feral cats there); leave at 4am the next morning
- Continue to drive, pee and drink coffee across America; notice that the truck stop and gas station washrooms are really clean and the gas station coffee is quite good
- Finish the rest of Iowa (corn), Nebraska (corn; took about 7 freaking hours to cross); Wyoming; and half of Utah
- See wild stampeding mustangs in Wyoming
- Stay at the Super 8 in Salt Lake City; there is some sort of religion housewives conference nearby and we see and overhear lots of large pant-suited ladies with... hair....
- Leave next morning at 7am; 8 hours to Reno!
- Have a day and a half of fun in Reno eating, drinking, gambling and getting Sarah a bike at the Reno Bike Project
- Head into the desert for early arrival to Burning Man to set up FORT KANUCKISTAN
- Have an amazing 9 days of extreme camping, dust storms to end all dust storms, installation art, burning shit down, talking, meeting new people, eating dubious flavours of chips, partying, oh and Sarah proposed to me on top of Temple at dusk and I said YES!!!
- Had a great 2 days back in Reno doing laundry and relaxing
- Had a great 3 day drive back, the exact same route in reverse but it seemed way longer and we had huge smiles on our faces; washed the car in Salt Lake; rinsed the engine
- Got home to many excited friends and family
So that’s the big news.
Best Road Meal: Breakfast at Cruel Jack's, Rock Springs, Wyoming
Best Non-Road Meal: Dinner at Bistro Napa, Reno - bestest dinner ever
Scariest Racist Comments Overheard: Tommy's Restaurant, Grand Island, Nebraska
Hardest Day at Burning Man: Monday dust storms
Craziest Day at Burning Man: Tuesday at Camp Add-Vice
Best Gift/Trip: Thursday night....
Heart-Stopping Moment #1: Art-Car crash beside crackdome, trailer fell on dude, Sarah attends until the ambulance arrived
Heart-Stopping Moment #2: Driving into Reno over people's garbage which gets stuck under the car and sounds like rumble strips
It went something like this:
- Leave house at 3:30am
- Stop for gas and Tim Horton’s
- Immediately notice that roof bag tarp cover is loose; pull over to fix it; see that it is completely destroyed; abandon it near the CNE
- Finally leave city 4:30am
- About 45 minutes out of the city notice that roof straps are thwacking the car roof hard; pull over to refasten in Guelph; get more Tim Horton’s
- Arrive at Sarnia at 7am to cross border into Port Huron, Michigan
- We direct ourselves into the NEXUS lane (limited signage, seems to be the only lane open)
- Border guard gets annoyed with us when we don’t have NEXUS passes
- We earn ourselves a $5000 fine and automatic car search and “interview” with Homeland Security
- In the interview a nice man talks to us like we’re 11 years old; waives the fine; sends us on our way 20 minutes later
- We see that the car doesn’t even seem to be searched; WAY TO GO, AMERICA!
- Continue to drive through Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa
- Stop for the night in Stuart, Iowa Super 8 motel (there are lots of friendly feral cats there); leave at 4am the next morning
- Continue to drive, pee and drink coffee across America; notice that the truck stop and gas station washrooms are really clean and the gas station coffee is quite good
- Finish the rest of Iowa (corn), Nebraska (corn; took about 7 freaking hours to cross); Wyoming; and half of Utah
- See wild stampeding mustangs in Wyoming
- Stay at the Super 8 in Salt Lake City; there is some sort of religion housewives conference nearby and we see and overhear lots of large pant-suited ladies with... hair....
- Leave next morning at 7am; 8 hours to Reno!
- Have a day and a half of fun in Reno eating, drinking, gambling and getting Sarah a bike at the Reno Bike Project
- Head into the desert for early arrival to Burning Man to set up FORT KANUCKISTAN
- Have an amazing 9 days of extreme camping, dust storms to end all dust storms, installation art, burning shit down, talking, meeting new people, eating dubious flavours of chips, partying, oh and Sarah proposed to me on top of Temple at dusk and I said YES!!!
- Had a great 2 days back in Reno doing laundry and relaxing
- Had a great 3 day drive back, the exact same route in reverse but it seemed way longer and we had huge smiles on our faces; washed the car in Salt Lake; rinsed the engine
- Got home to many excited friends and family
So that’s the big news.
Best Road Meal: Breakfast at Cruel Jack's, Rock Springs, Wyoming
Best Non-Road Meal: Dinner at Bistro Napa, Reno - bestest dinner ever
Scariest Racist Comments Overheard: Tommy's Restaurant, Grand Island, Nebraska
Hardest Day at Burning Man: Monday dust storms
Craziest Day at Burning Man: Tuesday at Camp Add-Vice
Best Gift/Trip: Thursday night....
Heart-Stopping Moment #1: Art-Car crash beside crackdome, trailer fell on dude, Sarah attends until the ambulance arrived
Heart-Stopping Moment #2: Driving into Reno over people's garbage which gets stuck under the car and sounds like rumble strips
