Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Like That Show...
Things I've lost this November:
- new green leather glove
- ipod (2 gig Nano)
- silver Tiffany-style necklace with heart toggle clasp
- white Lululemon hoodie
And, just while we're on the topic of missing shiz...
Things stolen at various times this summer:
- cement St. Francis garden statuary
- extension cord
- timer on the extension cord
- spade
Things I've lost this November:
- new green leather glove
- ipod (2 gig Nano)
- silver Tiffany-style necklace with heart toggle clasp
- white Lululemon hoodie
And, just while we're on the topic of missing shiz...
Things stolen at various times this summer:
- cement St. Francis garden statuary
- extension cord
- timer on the extension cord
- spade
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Melty Face
I went to Duff's the other night with work people to have a hot wing-eating throw down. It wasn't so much about quantity as about quality - what's the hottest thing you can eat?
In addition to medium, super-hot, and spicy bbq wings, we ordered Death wings and a side of Armageddon sauce. When we ordered Death they rang a bell (a death knell!). When we ordered Armageddon sauce sirens went off.
I ate two Death, one of which was smothered in Armageddon sauce.
The Death Wing / Armageddon Sauce Experience: I ate the wing fairly quickly and then the heat set in; the flesh around the eyes swelled up and tears flowed; I wasn't crying exactly but it was like I wept heavily - that's how much water came out of my eyes; my face was red; my face felt like it was close to flames; my tongue felt too big for my mouth; the passages in my nose felt like they were suddenly twice as long; I hunched over; my hearing slowed down - voices sounded far away; my face felt melty, as though sliding off of my skull; I felt paranoid, like others were laughing at me and judging me; I put a pint of beer to my face and just dunked my tongue in it for several minutes; after about 10 minutes all these sensations subsided although my mouth tingled for about 20 more minutes.
I went to Duff's the other night with work people to have a hot wing-eating throw down. It wasn't so much about quantity as about quality - what's the hottest thing you can eat?
In addition to medium, super-hot, and spicy bbq wings, we ordered Death wings and a side of Armageddon sauce. When we ordered Death they rang a bell (a death knell!). When we ordered Armageddon sauce sirens went off.
I ate two Death, one of which was smothered in Armageddon sauce.
The Death Wing / Armageddon Sauce Experience: I ate the wing fairly quickly and then the heat set in; the flesh around the eyes swelled up and tears flowed; I wasn't crying exactly but it was like I wept heavily - that's how much water came out of my eyes; my face was red; my face felt like it was close to flames; my tongue felt too big for my mouth; the passages in my nose felt like they were suddenly twice as long; I hunched over; my hearing slowed down - voices sounded far away; my face felt melty, as though sliding off of my skull; I felt paranoid, like others were laughing at me and judging me; I put a pint of beer to my face and just dunked my tongue in it for several minutes; after about 10 minutes all these sensations subsided although my mouth tingled for about 20 more minutes.
Things Happen in 3's
- break-in attempt (Dawson installed bars and a motion light)
- lost a green leather glove
- someone stole my ipod off my desk or it was pick-pocketed or I otherwise lost it somehow
- break-in attempt (Dawson installed bars and a motion light)
- lost a green leather glove
- someone stole my ipod off my desk or it was pick-pocketed or I otherwise lost it somehow
Facts About Rick Mercer
I sat next to Rick Mercer on the subway this morning. Facts about Rick Mercer:
- he got on at Broadview with me
- he did not get off at Yonge
- he was very spiffily dressed
- he had nice shoes and a good watch
- he was fiddling with his ipod and had it basically wedged under his balls so that he had both hands free (when not fussing with the ipod)
- he was reading the Globe and Mail
- he is VERY intense when he reads the Globe and Mail
- he has that Hollywood bobble-head affect that tends to distinguish people who are / are not on TV (we regular pin heads = not on TV)
Anyway I couldn’t think of anything cool to say.
Best thing: we were in a really old subway car, like from the 60's
I sat next to Rick Mercer on the subway this morning. Facts about Rick Mercer:
- he got on at Broadview with me
- he did not get off at Yonge
- he was very spiffily dressed
- he had nice shoes and a good watch
- he was fiddling with his ipod and had it basically wedged under his balls so that he had both hands free (when not fussing with the ipod)
- he was reading the Globe and Mail
- he is VERY intense when he reads the Globe and Mail
- he has that Hollywood bobble-head affect that tends to distinguish people who are / are not on TV (we regular pin heads = not on TV)
Anyway I couldn’t think of anything cool to say.
Best thing: we were in a really old subway car, like from the 60's
Life Can Be A Shitstorm
This is a peril of working from home.
My neighbour came by with her doggies for a play and a cup of coffee. First thing Dog 1 does is run upstairs and take a massive (not exaggerating - HUGE) dump in the empty bedroom, right where the new bed is supposed to go. Thank god it was "dry" and not runny. My neighbour cleaned it up.
Then Dog 1 took a pee right in the doorway. Again, it was cleaned up but it left a damp spot. Then my neighbour shoved all the dirty paper towel down the toilet and it clogged... ugh. When I saw her doing that I didn't catch her in time to say WAIT don't put that down the toilet! She was too fast, so I just let it go, KNOWING it would be clogged.
Then Dog 2 took a dump downstairs in front of the TV... And right then the delivery truck came so I asked the delivery men to wait a minute while we secured the doggies. I put Ghillie in the gym and then my neighbour left with her two. I let the guys in and the first thing the guy says is, "Can we use your washroom?" I said that yes but I needed to use the plunger first, the girl who just left clogged it with paper towel!
So they start bringing in the bits and pieces of the new bed. Exciting! They bring everything upstairs but the mattress is last... oh that took a lot of to'ing and fro'ing and some tugging and shoving... But it fit. Then one of the guys says, "There's something wet on the floor here," and I don't say what happened but assure him that it's just water (and it is). I bring them bottles of water. They assemble the bed. No poop smells or stains or nastiness anywhere. They leave... The new bed is intact and amazing.
This is a peril of working from home.
My neighbour came by with her doggies for a play and a cup of coffee. First thing Dog 1 does is run upstairs and take a massive (not exaggerating - HUGE) dump in the empty bedroom, right where the new bed is supposed to go. Thank god it was "dry" and not runny. My neighbour cleaned it up.
Then Dog 1 took a pee right in the doorway. Again, it was cleaned up but it left a damp spot. Then my neighbour shoved all the dirty paper towel down the toilet and it clogged... ugh. When I saw her doing that I didn't catch her in time to say WAIT don't put that down the toilet! She was too fast, so I just let it go, KNOWING it would be clogged.
Then Dog 2 took a dump downstairs in front of the TV... And right then the delivery truck came so I asked the delivery men to wait a minute while we secured the doggies. I put Ghillie in the gym and then my neighbour left with her two. I let the guys in and the first thing the guy says is, "Can we use your washroom?" I said that yes but I needed to use the plunger first, the girl who just left clogged it with paper towel!
So they start bringing in the bits and pieces of the new bed. Exciting! They bring everything upstairs but the mattress is last... oh that took a lot of to'ing and fro'ing and some tugging and shoving... But it fit. Then one of the guys says, "There's something wet on the floor here," and I don't say what happened but assure him that it's just water (and it is). I bring them bottles of water. They assemble the bed. No poop smells or stains or nastiness anywhere. They leave... The new bed is intact and amazing.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Emergency Preparedness
Recently at work we had to sit through an hour long presentation about personal emergency preparedness in our homes.
When the nice man said, "Can anyone here name some emergencies that would constitute disasters?" we said among ourselves:
- Zombies
- Cave Creatures
- Cylons
- Sith
"And what types of things should you have in your home for when disasters strike?"
- lube
- assless jeans
- chaps
- ball gag
Recently at work we had to sit through an hour long presentation about personal emergency preparedness in our homes.
When the nice man said, "Can anyone here name some emergencies that would constitute disasters?" we said among ourselves:
- Zombies
- Cave Creatures
- Cylons
- Sith
"And what types of things should you have in your home for when disasters strike?"
- lube
- assless jeans
- chaps
- ball gag
