Friday, March 23, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
"You Will Be..."
The Empire Strikes Back has always been my favourite one too. This thing cracks my shit up. All that's missing is:
- "The first transport is away!"
- (stilited and unenthusiastic stagehands) "Hooray!"
The Empire Strikes Back has always been my favourite one too. This thing cracks my shit up. All that's missing is:
- "The first transport is away!"
- (stilited and unenthusiastic stagehands) "Hooray!"
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Welcome Back
It's been a while, I know. I lot is going on, but out of respect for Nick I don't yammer on about it here. These days you really have to be in the change room at RINX to hear anything juicy about me.
We aren't exactly packing him up yet, just having talks about packing and which furniture and art work to take and the like. All our stuff is *very* nice and there's a lot of it. I guess all this will get sorted out in the coming days. Move out day is March 29th.
We still don't have separate bank accounts yet and there was some tension about that. For instance, I got a sharpen and some supplies at Just Hockey, bought a cute dress at Femme De Carriere and also had some services done at Uptown Spa. And for the first time in 12 years, I heard about it. Yes, Nick looked at the transactions online. There was a fight about shopping sprees and getting my pubes hairstyled. It was a few hundred dollars that he had earmarked for moving expenses.
I don't know how to fight about money. I just figure that everything will even out. Which has probably been the problem. But anyway, I can't think like that. There was crying and fighting and mention was made of a huge rug, a mission style bookcase, the recliner with a burn hole from a joint (acquired the first day we got it home)... These things mean nothing now and THINGS mean nothing now. I think we just have to get through the next 10 days and keep laughing and stay positive. I have to keep living. I have to get a facial every once in a while, get the dog groomed, re-tape my stick and be in my life.
And then today's mail came and there was my tax refund, and the amount covered TO THE DOLLAR a cute dress, some hockey stuff and a spa treatment. See everything always does even out.
It's been a while, I know. I lot is going on, but out of respect for Nick I don't yammer on about it here. These days you really have to be in the change room at RINX to hear anything juicy about me.
We aren't exactly packing him up yet, just having talks about packing and which furniture and art work to take and the like. All our stuff is *very* nice and there's a lot of it. I guess all this will get sorted out in the coming days. Move out day is March 29th.
We still don't have separate bank accounts yet and there was some tension about that. For instance, I got a sharpen and some supplies at Just Hockey, bought a cute dress at Femme De Carriere and also had some services done at Uptown Spa. And for the first time in 12 years, I heard about it. Yes, Nick looked at the transactions online. There was a fight about shopping sprees and getting my pubes hairstyled. It was a few hundred dollars that he had earmarked for moving expenses.
I don't know how to fight about money. I just figure that everything will even out. Which has probably been the problem. But anyway, I can't think like that. There was crying and fighting and mention was made of a huge rug, a mission style bookcase, the recliner with a burn hole from a joint (acquired the first day we got it home)... These things mean nothing now and THINGS mean nothing now. I think we just have to get through the next 10 days and keep laughing and stay positive. I have to keep living. I have to get a facial every once in a while, get the dog groomed, re-tape my stick and be in my life.
And then today's mail came and there was my tax refund, and the amount covered TO THE DOLLAR a cute dress, some hockey stuff and a spa treatment. See everything always does even out.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Sounds... AWESOME!
[From today's Page Six]
March 15, 2007 -- THE people who dole out ratings at the Motion Picture Assn. of America just might flip out when they see "Grindhouse," Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's tribute to the ultraviolent, nudity-drenched pictures that once screened 'round the clock in the grungy movie palaces of 42nd Street.
The Weinstein Company, which is releasing the picture April 6 through its Dimension Films arm, needs an R rating for the flick to get into mainstream theaters. But, "some of it is so graphic and outrageous for a major Hollywood studio, there's no question it's headed for an NC-17 without big cuts," says a Page Six operative, who got a sneak peek at the most over-the-top footage.
"Grindhouse" is actually two short movies - one directed by Tarantino, the other by Rodriguez - with an intermission between them. During the break, a series of fake trailers will be shown for such fictitious titles as "Werewolf Women of the SS," directed by Rob Zombie.
"In one scene, a cute, topless girl is roughly tied down on a table by evil female Nazi experimenters who begin draining her blood and, as she screams in agony, they brand her like livestock with a coal-hot steel swastika," our source said. "And every girl in the Nazi concentration camp is topless."
Another trailer, directed by Eli Roth, of "Hostel" fame, is called "Thanksgiving," in which a town's celebration of Turkey Day is interrupted by a mad slasher.
"There's a part where Jordan Ladd [daughter of Cheryl Ladd of 'Charlie's Angels'] is in a car with her boyfriend and giving him [oral sex] when she lovingly reaches to stroke his hair and discovers his neck is just a bloody stump - some maniac had just cut off his head while she was in the act."
Later, a frisky cheerleader climbs onto a trampoline and begins stripping naked as she jumps up and down until she does a split and her skirt blows up without panties underneath. "You get the full 'Britney Spears-getting-out-of-the-limo view,' " our source says. Another jolting scene shows a grossly obese man chewing on a baby.
How much of these moviegoers will end up seeing is anybody's guess. "Some cuts definitely will have to be made. There's no question," conceded one studio insider. A Dimension rep declined comment.
[From today's Page Six]
March 15, 2007 -- THE people who dole out ratings at the Motion Picture Assn. of America just might flip out when they see "Grindhouse," Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's tribute to the ultraviolent, nudity-drenched pictures that once screened 'round the clock in the grungy movie palaces of 42nd Street.
The Weinstein Company, which is releasing the picture April 6 through its Dimension Films arm, needs an R rating for the flick to get into mainstream theaters. But, "some of it is so graphic and outrageous for a major Hollywood studio, there's no question it's headed for an NC-17 without big cuts," says a Page Six operative, who got a sneak peek at the most over-the-top footage.
"Grindhouse" is actually two short movies - one directed by Tarantino, the other by Rodriguez - with an intermission between them. During the break, a series of fake trailers will be shown for such fictitious titles as "Werewolf Women of the SS," directed by Rob Zombie.
"In one scene, a cute, topless girl is roughly tied down on a table by evil female Nazi experimenters who begin draining her blood and, as she screams in agony, they brand her like livestock with a coal-hot steel swastika," our source said. "And every girl in the Nazi concentration camp is topless."
Another trailer, directed by Eli Roth, of "Hostel" fame, is called "Thanksgiving," in which a town's celebration of Turkey Day is interrupted by a mad slasher.
"There's a part where Jordan Ladd [daughter of Cheryl Ladd of 'Charlie's Angels'] is in a car with her boyfriend and giving him [oral sex] when she lovingly reaches to stroke his hair and discovers his neck is just a bloody stump - some maniac had just cut off his head while she was in the act."
Later, a frisky cheerleader climbs onto a trampoline and begins stripping naked as she jumps up and down until she does a split and her skirt blows up without panties underneath. "You get the full 'Britney Spears-getting-out-of-the-limo view,' " our source says. Another jolting scene shows a grossly obese man chewing on a baby.
How much of these moviegoers will end up seeing is anybody's guess. "Some cuts definitely will have to be made. There's no question," conceded one studio insider. A Dimension rep declined comment.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Put Your Junk In That Box...
This is going to be my next halloween costume.
Dearest Cousins,
We are so sorry to do this over email but the time has come to spread the word about Nick and me. We are separated as of November and it is not a trial. Margaret, Eileen, John, Kerry and Deanna know and it’s time you knew too.
Although this is a significant change, please know that I love you all tremendously. I am so family-deficit, and Nick’s large, fun, rambunctious family has meant the world to me. I hope to keep seeing you at the family ‘do’s. Maybe we can do this Bruce and Demi-style. Nick is still my friend and we are amicable! I don’t want to separate from you. You are all my friends and I love you so much!
So see you soon and if you want to talk, you know how to reach us.
Nick and Mary Beth
We are so sorry to do this over email but the time has come to spread the word about Nick and me. We are separated as of November and it is not a trial. Margaret, Eileen, John, Kerry and Deanna know and it’s time you knew too.
Although this is a significant change, please know that I love you all tremendously. I am so family-deficit, and Nick’s large, fun, rambunctious family has meant the world to me. I hope to keep seeing you at the family ‘do’s. Maybe we can do this Bruce and Demi-style. Nick is still my friend and we are amicable! I don’t want to separate from you. You are all my friends and I love you so much!
So see you soon and if you want to talk, you know how to reach us.
Nick and Mary Beth
Friday, March 09, 2007
Oh 30 Rock, You Give Me Pleasure All Week Long
"You sang 6 bars of something called 'Muffin Top'..."
"Thank you!"
"...and then you told a disgusting story about fleet week!"
"You sang 6 bars of something called 'Muffin Top'..."
"Thank you!"
"...and then you told a disgusting story about fleet week!"
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Those Kids
It's weird to hear about all these little kids I used to babysit. They're grown up now and working as bond traders on Wall Street, or like, married and have babies. Although there were probably about two dozen such kids, the ones I remember best are two families from my street who practically lived across from one another. Those two sets of kids could not have been more different.
I looked after these kids when I was in high school. In the first family there were the two little brothers who were painfully thin, very quiet and well behaved. I don't think there was a TV in that house. But there was a large grey cat named Agatha that I sometimes used to look after when the family went away. Me and those little dudes used to do a lot of story telling. It was their favourite thing. They were like Rod and Todd. They loved elaborate adventure stories made up as we went along that involved lots of frantic running and sometimes sword fights but if it got too scary for them I had to quickly pull it back and tone it down. Those kids loved to cuddle at bedtime. And they always went right to sleep, no funny business.
The other family had 3 little boys. Those kids were nice too but way more boisterous. There was TV and video games in that home. Lots of story reading. Cuddles at bed time. Many, many requests for glasses of water or kids just getting out of bed and coming downstairs once or twice. Also, they loved to hear about summer camp (they called it sleep-away camp), and of course I had plenty to say about that. The oldest kid was smart. He taught me how to play chess and we used to always have a match when the other two kids were in bed. He always beat me (not hard to do). One night during our match I finally was thinking 3 moves ahead and I managed to beat him. Actually, the split second he saw he was trapped into checkmate he threw a fit and sent the board and pieces flying across the room. He was so pissed! He actually slapped me. He went to bed so mad. I told his parents about his temper tantrum. I felt bad later for ratting him out, but I had to laugh. I learned that night a) he was just a little kid, but I really didn't treat him that way, and b) he certainly didn't like to lose. The middle kid was a sweet little guy, kind of fun loving and easy going. The youngest kid had red hair. I always have a soft spot for red hair. He loved to have stories read to him in his crib. One night after reading to him I hugged him and noticed he was quite hot. Then, his diaper revealed a huge mess and I knew he had a fever or the flu or something. I picked him up and put him on the bathroom floor. All the towels and the bathmat were white, so I threw them in the tub. I myself was wearing white khaki pants, so I took them off. As I was helping the little guy get cleaned up using every diaper wipe in sight, the middle kid wandered out of his bedroom and when he saw I was in my underwear his eyes got HUGE. He was like, what's going on? Where are your pants? I explained that his brother was sick and I didn't want to get diarrhea on everything so I had taken off my pants. He seemed ok with that explanation and climbed back into bed. The other little guy was just like a flop doll. After getting him all cleaned up I put my pants back on, gave him water and a cold facecloth on his head and sat with him until the parents got home. I'm sure that kid's an investment banker now or something.
It's weird to hear about all these little kids I used to babysit. They're grown up now and working as bond traders on Wall Street, or like, married and have babies. Although there were probably about two dozen such kids, the ones I remember best are two families from my street who practically lived across from one another. Those two sets of kids could not have been more different.
I looked after these kids when I was in high school. In the first family there were the two little brothers who were painfully thin, very quiet and well behaved. I don't think there was a TV in that house. But there was a large grey cat named Agatha that I sometimes used to look after when the family went away. Me and those little dudes used to do a lot of story telling. It was their favourite thing. They were like Rod and Todd. They loved elaborate adventure stories made up as we went along that involved lots of frantic running and sometimes sword fights but if it got too scary for them I had to quickly pull it back and tone it down. Those kids loved to cuddle at bedtime. And they always went right to sleep, no funny business.
The other family had 3 little boys. Those kids were nice too but way more boisterous. There was TV and video games in that home. Lots of story reading. Cuddles at bed time. Many, many requests for glasses of water or kids just getting out of bed and coming downstairs once or twice. Also, they loved to hear about summer camp (they called it sleep-away camp), and of course I had plenty to say about that. The oldest kid was smart. He taught me how to play chess and we used to always have a match when the other two kids were in bed. He always beat me (not hard to do). One night during our match I finally was thinking 3 moves ahead and I managed to beat him. Actually, the split second he saw he was trapped into checkmate he threw a fit and sent the board and pieces flying across the room. He was so pissed! He actually slapped me. He went to bed so mad. I told his parents about his temper tantrum. I felt bad later for ratting him out, but I had to laugh. I learned that night a) he was just a little kid, but I really didn't treat him that way, and b) he certainly didn't like to lose. The middle kid was a sweet little guy, kind of fun loving and easy going. The youngest kid had red hair. I always have a soft spot for red hair. He loved to have stories read to him in his crib. One night after reading to him I hugged him and noticed he was quite hot. Then, his diaper revealed a huge mess and I knew he had a fever or the flu or something. I picked him up and put him on the bathroom floor. All the towels and the bathmat were white, so I threw them in the tub. I myself was wearing white khaki pants, so I took them off. As I was helping the little guy get cleaned up using every diaper wipe in sight, the middle kid wandered out of his bedroom and when he saw I was in my underwear his eyes got HUGE. He was like, what's going on? Where are your pants? I explained that his brother was sick and I didn't want to get diarrhea on everything so I had taken off my pants. He seemed ok with that explanation and climbed back into bed. The other little guy was just like a flop doll. After getting him all cleaned up I put my pants back on, gave him water and a cold facecloth on his head and sat with him until the parents got home. I'm sure that kid's an investment banker now or something.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Welcome to the Ice Planet of Hoth
Meet me at Echo Base in your TIE Fighter.
Meet me at Echo Base in your TIE Fighter.
We Sleep 18 Hours But We Always Party 24
The Clothing of the "Stars"
Remember when Britney had my dress?
Now Nicole has my scarf!
But it's making me insecure... I have the same tastes as these weirdos.
But it's making me insecure... I have the same tastes as these weirdos.Friday, March 02, 2007
Elevator Fly
I got in the elevator at work. I was alone. A few floors down a courier got in with me. It was just the two of us. I noticed when he walked in that his fly was undone. I said, "Your fly's undone." He said, "Thanks," and zipped it. I said, "I hope that you would tell me if it was me." He said, "I definitely would."
I got in the elevator at work. I was alone. A few floors down a courier got in with me. It was just the two of us. I noticed when he walked in that his fly was undone. I said, "Your fly's undone." He said, "Thanks," and zipped it. I said, "I hope that you would tell me if it was me." He said, "I definitely would."
Thursday, March 01, 2007
It Should go OK Today
Today is one of those days where you just have one unpleasant task after another. But it should go ok. I can get through this. It's not as bad as going to a funeral for a parent. Yet it's worse than getting your period and no chance of finding a tampon for a few hours. Not as bad as tearing your quad away from the top of you knee... worse than a fender bender in front of the Hell's Angels Club house.
I have done my hair. Meaning, I washed it and actually styled it. Usually it is a blonde bird's nest that I pretend is somehow messily cute or sexy (it's not though in reality. And I know that. This is just what I tell myself so that I can focus on more important things that enable me to leave my house in the morning and attend things like work). Also, I am wearing a skirt. A clean skirt. Not a skirt that was lying on the floor or has ejaculate on it (I'm looking at you Monica Lewinsky). I am wearing my dad's gold watch for luck. He was a good and strong person and I am too. It will be good if I can get through today without crying.
Today is one of those days where you just have one unpleasant task after another. But it should go ok. I can get through this. It's not as bad as going to a funeral for a parent. Yet it's worse than getting your period and no chance of finding a tampon for a few hours. Not as bad as tearing your quad away from the top of you knee... worse than a fender bender in front of the Hell's Angels Club house.
I have done my hair. Meaning, I washed it and actually styled it. Usually it is a blonde bird's nest that I pretend is somehow messily cute or sexy (it's not though in reality. And I know that. This is just what I tell myself so that I can focus on more important things that enable me to leave my house in the morning and attend things like work). Also, I am wearing a skirt. A clean skirt. Not a skirt that was lying on the floor or has ejaculate on it (I'm looking at you Monica Lewinsky). I am wearing my dad's gold watch for luck. He was a good and strong person and I am too. It will be good if I can get through today without crying.
