Go Betty

Ew... Don't Ask Don't Tell... About Your Vermin Problem

This is disgusting... and yet doesn't compare to the fucking rat convention held daily behind the Lettieri coffee shop on the southeast corner of Queen St. W. and Spadina. I am not joking, if you want to scare friends who visit the big city, take them by the alley behind here and you will see more rats than starred in both versions of the movie Willard.

Painting Guy - 500 Channels of Guilty Pleasures

See the 3rd item down for a recap of the show The Joy of Painting. I got turned onto this show (on PBS I believe) during my Halifax years when there were many days spent on that filthy goddamn futon COMPLETELY hungover and the only thing I could stand was this very weird show because it was so soothing. SO VERY SOOTHING.

Fetal Demise

I can't lie, it does hurt that no less than 5 friends are having their babies in February (a critical blow to 2 out of 3 of my hockey teams). My baby would've been born the first week of March if things had worked out. The mass emails filled with the happy news ("I'm expecting too!") that pop into my inbox one after another are bringing me down just a little. I'm not envious, I'm just getting tired. Boo. But most of the senders don't even know about me. And I would've had the goofiest email of all... telling them all... being the latest in the string of pregnant hockey players, making everyone wonder what's in the water. Stupid bicornuate uterus. Stupid 4th miscarriage.

Message To Steve

You have been on my mind. I was just thinking of some practical information you might need.

Now

• Is your dad's will up-to-date? Is it as he wants it? It is probably straightforward (everything will flow to your mom) but if he makes special provisions (i.e., wants to create a trust, has siblings or other children to whom he wants to leave things), these things will need to be spelled out; you all want to avoid surprises
• Where is your dad's will right now? Who is the Executor? Do you have a trusted family lawyer? The Executor should know that your dad is close to passing, and so should your family lawyer
• Collect these items and keep them together and in a safe, handy place: his marriage certificate, his birth certificate, his SIN card (or number), his passport, his health card, and his last tax return
• Did he and your mom make pre-determined funeral plans? Is anything for that pre-paid? (If not, ok); does your dad have specific wishes for his funeral - people to invite, special music, cremation, what to do with ashes? Or no funeral at all? Do you have a pre-paid plot somewhere (the funeral home can confirm this or look it up)?
• Does your mom have a grip on all their combined assets and assets he may hold separately? Does she know about all his investments and bank accounts? Is everything jointly held (it would be much easier for her if they were)?
• Does your dad have debt? Know what it is
• Does your dad have life insurance policies on his life? If so the premiums must be all paid and everything must be up-to-date; are there other kinds of life insurance (on credit card balances, mortgages, lines of credit)? You must know where all the policies are; probate will go easier if all these things can be accounted for
• Try to have a family meeting to make sure everyone understands everything, especially your dad's wishes

When He Dies

• How will he die? At home? Who will be called? How will his body removal be handled when he dies (do you have the number of the hospice service)?
• Make sure to get lots of ORIGINALS of the death certificate from the funeral home; these are very useful when you need to make changes, access money, change travel tickets, etc.; get at least 20 originals and keep track of them
• Funeral home will help you to make all the other arrangements when he dies

After He's Gone

• When things have settled down some decisions need to be made
• If your mom doesn't drive, will she be learning? If not, sell the car and cancel the insurance; if so, keep the car tuned up
• Get the furnace tuned up; arrange for yard cleanup, window cleaning and book snow removal service for winter (important for your mom's safety and good to keep the house in shape)
• Change house / car / life insurance policies accordingly
• Stay in touch with the lawyer and Executor through the probate; you should always know what stage they're at; it should only take about 6 months if everything's in order
• Discuss what your mom should do; stay? Sell? Downsize? Move where? What are her needs?
• Does your mom have the support she needs medically and emotionally?