Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Me And Weed

Weed is no big thing to me. After high school (when it seemed scary and verboten) and then uni (when it seemed trashy and out of style) it now seems like what alcohol is - a recreational drug to be used by adults.

Myself, I don't smoke a lot of weed. It's not my thing. I don't mind it, and there was a time when I'd blow a pinner with my husband after I hurt my knee and after I had surgery. It certainly relaxed me a great deal. Other than that, it kind of makes me sleepy and it doesn't really appeal to me.

But I support all those who smoke. I think weed carries the same risks as smoking, therefore... it's not the smartest thing in the world to do. But I don't think people smoke weed like they smoke cigarettes. Like, someone who smokes 1 or 2 packs a day - yuck! You are already dead, man. But weed, you could smoke up once or twice a day... it doesn't really compare to folks who smoke a large volume of cigarettes.

I know friends whose wives are really against pot. It's their dealbreaker. Then the men have to sneak around to smoke pot for instance at parties, at someone's cottage, at a stag, etc. And then that's all based on lies because the wife thinks that the husband is following through on an agreement not to smoke pot, meanwhile, the man is out celebrating with his buddies, smoking pot, lying about it (lies of omission) and breaking the agreement. Whatever. I say, wives, relax. Let your husbands smoke pot, it's not like they're loaded everyday and when caring for the children or at work. It's just for special occasions, like drinking and getting a bit drunk. Tell each other the truth (over a blunt!).

Just like you don't get loaded around your children, the same with pot. You don't smoke in front of them; you're not high when you care for them.

Another risk besides the obvious one (smoking something carcinogenic) is that pot is illegal. Every though we are perceived to have relaxed rules around pot - you can still get busted. You take a risk when you buy it, when you have it in your car, your house, on your person, and you take a risk when you smoke it in public. You can still be busted!

This has got to change. In my limited experience, the pot that's around these days is fuller, richer and more robust. Pot in high school was like smoking something out of your mom's spice rack. Now the shit's for real, as good and strong as it gets. There's plenty of good pot around to be smoked. People are sprouting small grow ops. A lot of folks want to get in on this action. The unfortunate thing is that so does organized crime. But with so much product around, you know that people with small crops are making it too, so it's not all coming from biker gangs. At the end of the day, you've got to have some kindhearted soul tending to the crop. The gangs are all about guns, money laundering, eastern euro hooker and hard drugs; they're not about tending to the plants and loving Mother Earth. They're leaving it to the hippies who wanna grow pot and make some bucks too - as it should be!

Going Back To Hally

I'm going to Halifax tomorrow for a wedding. An old uni girl is tying the knot - the last girl in my crew to do so, except for the ones who already got divorced. Another one bites the dust!

I was not originally going to attend this wedding. Not to offend anyone but weddings ain't my thing, I find them a little tiresome. Same old same old. I wish everyone well but I haven't accepted many wedding invitations over the last few years. I have never been to a big ethnic wedding though. I hear the Portuguese, Italian, Greeks and Serbs have completely tricked out weddings. That's some shit I'd like to see.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I was out at a hen night for this very girl who's getting married. We did it up right with a cocktail party, everyone dressed up beautifully, and then downtown to a fancy restaurant with an endless wine bar. It was a great night. I got pretty tipsy and one of my peeps got to work on me about going to the wedding with her (without our husbands). I told her I already sent in my reply card "no" but this little chickie hates to fly and talked me into it, and in my snapped state I said yes. She even promised to pay for my flight. She's a compelling girl. I don't need anyone to pay for my flight, but on following Monday I did book the trip for both of us - flights, hotel, car. She was pretty happy to have a friend to go with. I didn't give it much thought but felt I had to honour my promise.

Then last night I get a call from my little chickie saying she's having a medical emergency so she can't go on our trip. That's some sad shit for real and I know how it is. Anyway, I tell her to relax and not to worry about me, look after herself.

So, tomorrow I go alone to Halifax. My husband is taking my brother on a roadtrip to Boston on Friday. Our cats will be alone at home. Our dog will be with our neighbours. My crazy bitches Toni and Dawson will be laying flagstone in my beautiful new backyard.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Topsoil

A shout out to Topsoil who knows how to kick a bitch's ass (nicely). He's a talented dude and I respect his writing. He takes me out of my world and into his. I feel like I've got courtside seats for something special and cool.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Backyard Adventures

A few months ago I had a landscaper check out the backyard of my crib and give me a quote for some work, to include excavating the yard (overgrown to the point of embarrassment), installing a small rock garden at the back of the property, installing some sort of surface like interlocking brick or flagstone, and giving the deck a little facelift. He quoted $16,500. Now, I live in a tiny house on a tiny street near one of this city's Chinatowns with dodgy neighbours and all. To quote me $16,500 is like super-crazy even though you have to haul everything through the house because we have no access to our backyard except from our TV room (no alley, no driveway). Plus, our yard is like 12 feet by 28 feet. Not that huge. Quotes from landscapers are whack.

So I put it to some buddies of mine who like to work with their hands and smoke weed and hang out with us and they wanted to do it. So I'm paying these chicks $20 / hour and what do you know we started on Saturday.

First thing I went to Home Depot on Friday night and bought some clippers, a lopper, 40 brown bags and some tarps ($150). On Saturday morning I set up the tarps and Nick stored the kitties in the basement for the day with their food and water. Then me and the girlies got down to business clearing out the backyard. It took 5 hours but we got everything out until the yard is like a smooth brown square. Too cool! We brought everything onto the front sidewalk where it completely covered the sidewalk... 1-800-GOT-JUNK came and took everything away ($700). That was fun and we were a little sore that night. On Sunday we went to the landscape place and bought 2 cubic yards of "screening" which is like pebbly sand. That was 52 bags of sand - each weighing 75 pounds. We also bought half a tonne of flagstone. I've got a lot of leftover flagstone that we piled up when we excavated. I got all the new stuff delivered on skids in front of my house ($250). Hauling that shit through the house totally sucked ass. Oh yeah, I bought some more materials at Home Depot including a wheelbarrow ($200). So far we've worked 10 hours (that's $400 to my girls who are going to spend the money when they go on vacation to Mexico City over Thanksgiving). My arms sure hurt today.

Our last jobs are to finish the rock garden, tamp the earth, lay the screening, tamp and level that shit, then lay the flagstone. Then we gotta powerwash and re-stain the deck, no big deal I can do that shit whenever.

So far I've spent about $1500 and maybe I've gotta pay out $400 more in labour. If I can keep it under $2000 that's pretty good considering a dude quoted me $16,500.

It's fun but hard work for sure.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

All Gay Broadway Revue of Grease

John Travolta as Danny
Ellen Degeneres as Sandy

George Michael as Kenickie
Alan Cumming as Doody
Harvey Fierstein as Sonny
Michael Stipe as Putzy

Rosie O'Donnell as Rizzo
Annie Leibowitz as Frenchie
k.d. lang as Jan
Boy George as Marty

Danny - Go greased lightnin', you're burnin' up the quarter mile
Chorus - Greased lightnin', go greased lightnin'
Danny - Go greased lightnin', you're coastin' through the heat lap trials
Chorus - Greased lightnin' [SMASH]

[Travolta crashes through the stage floor]

Marty - Looks like somebody ate a few too many Royales with cheese...
Rizzo - Somebody call Tom Cruise's sister!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

What' So Funny 'Bout Buyin' Two Boxes 'O Tampons For Your Wiiiiiife, Ohhhhh....

In Today's Gawker Stalker

"8/9 @ 6 pm, saw Elvis Costello at the Rite Aid on the corner of 13th and 6th purchasing not one, but two bright pink boxes of Playtex tampons. Diana Krall was nowhere to be seen, but one can only assume. He looked very nonchalant in head-to-toe black and sunglasses. Frankly, he could have been purchasing a case of Preparation-H and made it look cool."

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Talkin' 'Bout Sudoku

I've been doing these sudoku puzzles for about 2 weeks. When doing a paper-based puzzle it takes me about 8 minutes to do a "very easy" one, about 10 minutes to do an "easy" one and about 30 minutes to do a "medium" one. The truth is, I boob about 50% of the time in the middle of "medium" puzzles, and rather than start again I discard them and print off another.

The Professor And Mary Ann

Oh dear oh dear. I spent a few moments today looking up my old uni teachers at Rate My Professors. Poor Prof. Bleasdale! And yet, this was all mostly true in my day too (15 years ago).

"...a little out to lunch while lecturing...probably just the pre-class spliff she blazed in her office! REEFER MADNESS."

"...her marking is easy like sunday morning." [Thanks Lionel!]

"...did you hear about the story when she came to class with no pants on?" [No? After my time I guess]

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Dyke Backyard A-Go-Go

Got some lesbian friends coming over to give me a quote to hardscape my backyard. Went to Jen's hen party last night but left after the cocktails bit. I was knackered. Went home and watched season 2 of The Office with Nick and went to bed. The Office is hilarious and almost uncomfortably hard to watch. Season 2 is a little darker than season 1. We have yet to watch the final installment which is the Christmas party. Will Tim and Dawn get together? So many longing looks across the reception desk.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Hung

I went to a dinner party last night in my honour - for my birthday which is next Saturday (go Leo babies). It was another disgustingly hot and smoggy day but it got cool and clear last night. We sat in Ginny's garden and ate bbq'd filet mignon, asparagus, parisienne potatoes, salad and drank Amarone. Dogs were sleeping at our feet. We talked until pretty late and smoked the Marlboro Ultra Lights from Florida. I got home at 2am... 6am came pretty fast. I was dreaming that I was at a picnic and someone was messing with my feet, squishing them uncomfortably, binding them. When I woke up it was the dog lying on them that was making them ache.

I am not too hung over today, just a little. I have a spa appt. today at 5pm. Getting a "back-cial", that is a like a facial on my back. Nasty story: the other day Nick rubbed my back with a cottonball and astringint and it came away black. Next day I booked an appointment. And then obviously I need to get some sort of long-handled scrub brush business to de-nastify things back there.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

School's Out

I Tivo'd School's Out over the weekend and watched it hoping to be shocked all over again -- like I was shocked when I saw it for the very first time. Well I wasn't disappointed. Same great shock value as ever.

1) The Sex
Wheels is not a virgin, referring to some long distance girlfriend Karen in Calgary (who I don't remember from the show). Joey is having sex "every week" with Tessa (two-timing Caitlin). And the sex scenes are totally, utterly hot. I can't believe how hot these kids are. Hot, people.

3) The Parties
The kids party two or three times, and they party hard. At the pool party (not sure whose house it is? Lucy's?) looks like a Don Mills suburbs house. I guess she moved away from Degrassi Street.

4) The Binge Drinking
Everyone's drinking this brand of beer called "BEER". Hmmmmm.

5) The Pot Smoking
Lots of it.

6) The Regular Smoking
'Nuff said.

7) The Lying and the Fighting

8) The Shitty Jobs
Caitin wears a Swiss Chalet uniform but the place serves burgers. And Sandra Oh works there too (uncredited - had to look it up on imdb to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me). Joey works at the Shoppers Drug Mart around the corner from my house. Tessa "works" with Spike at the photomat next door to Shoppers (Spike does all the work).

9) The Abortion
While the grads party Tessa takes herself to the Women's Clinic for an abortion. Remember when one of the twins went through the same thing?

9) The Mysteries
Where are those frizzy-haired twins? Where the hell is Liz? What about L.D.? Surely she's back from that around-the-world trip. Where's Michelle and Melanie and the anorexic chick and the chick with the drinky mom? Where's wheelchair girl? And who could forget Voula and her "old-fashioned" brother? Ah well. It's a mystery for the ages.

I Spy With My Crusty Itchy Eyes, Something That Is Pink

I got the pinks again. Not those pinks. Pink eye. It came on Sunday and it's just clearing up now. Don't know how I keep getting this.

Does Your Dog Shit In The Woods?

Answer: yes. Yes, she does. I went up north for a few days with Ginny. I took Friday off as a lieu day (who could forget the kooky month of February? So short, and yet I worked so much. I still have 12 lieu hours to burn. The bank hates when you rack up the overtime. I've had so much lieu time that I've barely touched my vacation this year). Anywho, with Friday off I had an extra-long weekend. We went up Thursday night. I brought some doggie supplies and a few nice bottles of wine. Ghillie sat in the back seat among the weekend bags and golf clubs. The drive up was great. We stayed in Port Carling the first night. Then we tootled around town on Friday, shopped, had lunch at Mint, and then finally loaded up the boat and went over to the island. We had a lot to drink on Friday night because I woke up in the night thirsty as hell and needing to pee. So did Ginny so she went all the way downstairs and got us bottles of water.

Ghillie was ok on the boat and on the island. She is a city dog and not used to being outside all day long. At times I would watch her and she looked at bit lost, like, "Where the hell am I? Where is everybody?" She did not seem to know what to do with herself at times. Also, she normally sleeps most of the day. At the cottage she played all day. In the afternoons she was so exhausted she would fall asleep on the ground. She found a concave patch of warm rock near the dock that she liked to sleep in. I often saw her napping there.

I went swimming a couple of times. It was very hot out so the lake didn't feel cold at all. We bought pizza dough and made some homemade pizzas. I made a lemon-blueberry tiramisu (I didn't like it too much but others did). I also made a lemon meringue pie - my first. It was excellent. I used a frozen Tenderflake crust but everything else was from scratch.

It was a nice weekend - fours nights. I was glad to get home on Sunday night. Nick had been to Chicago with his dad - sightseeing, Cubs game, eating, drinking, being boys. They had a great time and Nick wants us to go back to Chicago together. He thought it was a beautiful city. I only know it from Oprah. I have an old childhood friend who lives there. I would like to go to Chicago and meet her again. She was my best friend when I was 9-10-11.

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